Our culture is obsessed with love. The books we read, the movies we watch, the quotes we pin on Pinterest. 95% of all of it has to do with love. Whether it be love in friendships or marriages or whatever. Love is something we can’t get enough of. Yesterday I sat in church as we went over 1 Corinthians 13 and honestly when I realized we had gotten to chapter 13 in our study I almost tuned out because what more could be said about one of the most famous verses in the Bible. But as I sat there and listened to the words and really let them sink in I thought about each of my relationships. My relationships with my family, my friends, and even with Jamey.
I got hit with a ton of bricks. The night before I was discussing a particular relationship in my life with Jamey as we were cooking and eating dinner. I discussed that I wasn’t sure what to do anymore. I was sort of throwing my hands up in the situation. I’d asked for Godly counsel from friends and mentors and while everyone gave great advice it wasn’t working. I even discussed how I was trying to show love, but that I didn’t know how or what to do and it wasn’t easy.
Well as so often happen when conviction washes over you I realized I hadn’t been truly loving. Yes, I had been praying over the situation, and I had told myself that I love this person, but as I read 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, and replaced love with my name I realized I hadn’t really been loving the way that Christ taught us to love. And what was worse was that it didn’t stop with that one relationship, but with so many relationships in my life. I realized that often not only was I insisting on my own way, but I wasn’t patient when it wasn’t going the way I wanted it to, then I would become irritable and rude, and it was just a big spiral downward.
I also can’t do it on my own. It isn’t about me loving that person, but about me giving up control, so that Christ can love through me. People aren’t going to always act the way I want them to act or do the things I want them to do, but if I allow Christ to work through me I can love them. My resentful attitudes in relationships often only poisons me. The other person has no idea that I’m angry or upset, but all that poison does is draw me further away from my relationship with God.
I know Rome wasn’t built in a day, but now that the Lord has shown me an area I need to work on I’m hoping to grow daily, and maybe one day people will look at me and not see me, but see Christ’s love through me. I’m not perfect and I won’t get it right every time, but that doesn’t mean I won’t keep trying.