When are you no longer newlyweds? Is the one-year mark the end of newlywedom? Somehow I blinked my eye and the year passed by. I feel like just yesterday we loaded up the car and headed to Savannah with more nervousness and excitement than I could even begin to describe. I remember every second of that day. I think that may be one of my favorite things about my wedding day, the fact that I can remember it all like it was yesterday. Everyone told me that my wedding day would fly by and it would be a blur, but most of my day was relaxed and calm and just fun. Yeah towards the end it got rushed and of course I made absolutely no plans at all, so I forgot that I actually needed to pay for the reception and had to use the carriage drivers cell phone to call my mom and tell her to run back to the room to get my wallet, but I still remember the hilariousness of that and every other detail. I remember every word the pastor said during our ceremony and every emotion I felt. My wedding day was absolutely perfect in every way.
But now a year has rolled around since then, and those emotions have only gotten stronger, and now we have survived a little more life and I know we will survive a lot more of life through the years, and I am beyond excited about that. Just tonight we were discussing what we were going to do after I graduate from my Masters program and what city we could move to next. I can only imagine where all our life together will lead us and I am so excited at the prospects.
The past year I’ve learned so much about my role as a wife and about what having a husband means and doesn’t mean. I’ve learned so much about Jamey, and we’ve grown together in so many ways.
Here are the top ten things we have learned about marriage in the past year (in no certain order)
1. We’ve learned that shutting the bathroom door is key. Keeping a little mystery in the marriage never hurt anyone when it comes to bodily functions!
2. We’ve learned having a roommate of the opposite sex rocks! There is always someone there to reach the top of the shelves and make a fire. Also there is always someone to bake tasty cheesecakes and do the Christmas shopping.
3. Sometimes having a roommate of the opposite sex can mean adjusting. The toilet seat gets left up quite a bit, and there are feminine products under the cabinets.
4. Your spouse is your biggest encourager. They can see just the words you need to hear and give you the strength to keep going after a long day at work or a stressful time with friends.
5. Your spouse can also say the things that hurt the most. I think hearing something from your spouse hurts more than hearing it from anyone else. Be kind with your words. It is easy when you are frustrated to get the other where it hurts, but it is never the right way to go about things and you will end up feeling just as hurt.
6. Saying I love you everyday is important. Even when you don’t necessarily feel like saying it. You need to hear that you are loved and so does your spouse. Say it often and mean it.
7. Figure out what speaks love to your spouse and make sure that you do that as much as possible. We all feel loved it different ways and you need to make sure that your spouse love language is being spoken into.
8. Communication truly is key. It sounds like an old cliche, but it is so true. Communication is important in all relationships, but most important in your marriage. From everything to how your day is going to how the money is being spent to more intimate things…
9. Understanding that the other person doesn’t work on the same time frame as you and doesn’t think the same way and that is okay. Things will get done and you don’t have to 100% agree on how they need to be done to get them done. Actually, you can live life along side someone and not 100% agree on every detail of life. I’m a planner and Jamey isn’t and we still both survive the days together. Sometimes the days are planned and sometimes they aren’t. We’ve both learned that things will be okay without it going our way sometimes.
10. Whenever times get stressful or hard or too much to handle lean on the other person don’t make them out to be the bad guy. Marriage means you have a partner in life, so when things get stressful remember they are a partner that can make things easier not someone just getting in the way.
11. (a Freebie!) Go to God with everything. He is your constant and you will never make it through the many years of marriage without Him. In the one quick year we have been married it wasn’t hard to figure that one out!
Our first year of marriage has taught us so much and I know we will never stop learning new things about each other and new things about our marriage. Here’s to many more years of wedded bliss!