Right now….

Right now I would like to eat the other half of the blackberry cobbler that is sitting in my refrigerator and play Jamey’s video game….yes, sadly he has gotten me hooked on those things and no, I don’t know how this happened. Also, I currently feel awful that I didn’t wish my sister a happy birthday until about 3:00 this afternoon. I’m literally the WORST sister in the whole world…. I just honestly had no idea today was even the 7th and I was actually was looking to see what the date was so I wouldn’t miss it…only to look and realized I had missed it…So HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALLORY!! Instead I am writing this blog while cooking Chicken Marsala and waiting on Jamey to get home. His current ETA is sometime after 8:00…. I really wish our busy seasons were at the same time. I’m not sure our puppies would appreciate that though. I should also be picking up the stuffing that the dogs have scattered all around the floor and making up our bed, but since I’m cooking dinner instead of eating cobbler I’m giving myself a reward.

Somehow I became nurturing while I wasn’t looking. I don’t really know if you call it nurturing really, but one of my favorite things is having supper on the table when Jamey comes home. Now don’t get excited anyone, at the last kid talk I decided I wanted to wait 10 years before we had our first kid and when I ran it past Jamey he said that sounded fantastic, so my nurturing will stay contained to our two dogs and Jamey. That brings me to the musing of this post though, I always said I didn’t want kids like REALLY didn’t want kids and somehow I’ve gotten so far as to say I want kids in ten years. But it has made me think about all the things I want to do before having kids, some are personal goals, some are marriage goals, and some are adventure goals!

My personal goals are too numerous to name them all, but I really thought about a few and even talked with my friends about a few. One really has made me think long and hard. You know when you have kids you are responsible for a life like a real living breathing creature is depending on you for literally everything. Now don’t get me wrong I am totally freaked about just having to keep a tiny human alive, but what makes me freak out even more is that I will be responsible for a humans emotional and spiritual needs as well. I mean the things a parent teaches their child literally dominates that child’s personality and behavior more than anything else especially in the first years of their life. I mean, come on, lets all admit that in some way our families have scarred us a little and also have helped us tremendously. I also know how my mother helped me grow in a Christian family and taught me what it means to have a relationship with Christ and part of me wants to do that, but a larger part of me is terrified that I don’t know enough and I don’t walk closely enough with the Lord to teach anyone those things. Well I’ve taken in on as a challenge. In the next ten years I will grow closer to the Lord everyday. I will grow in my walk and in my wisdom. I know that I have to because when the Lord finally prepares mine and Jamey’s heart for children I don’t want there to be any question as to wether I will be able to raise them in a Godly home. I will be praying for my kids until that time comes and I will be praying for me and for Jamey and for our marriage. Our children will come into a home bathed in prayer and teeming with the Love the Lord has for us.

I don’t know what the next ten years or more have in store for our family, but I want to grow every day and I want to be walking in the ways the Lord has for me every day. I want to be making sure that my marriage is what the Lord wants it to be. I want to make sure that I am what the Lord wants me to be. Because one day the Lord is going to twist our lives upside down and I want to be ready and the way  I can do that is to do whatever it takes to live in His will and love others like the Lord loves me.

Although I want to do many things in the next ten years, even if no children ever come, the one thing I want to do every day is to put the Lord first in my life and to walk in His ways.

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